I’ve been having a rough week. Yes I have, and I think I might need a
stiff drink this weekend. But, I know that I was going to have one of these days. But, I’ve been rocking it out so far. It started on Monday where my co-workers had nasty attitudes towards me. That sort of threw me off. I kept a smile on my face and continued to do my job. Tuesday to now…. ROUGH! Mentally, I have to rock it out.I had to read encouragment scriptures to help myself focus. I guess that’s the right thing to do.
We all have thoes days where things aren’t going well. And all we have to do is keep our heads up and step out on faith. We have to let people actions roll off our backs. “Water off a ducks back.” I don’t know who made that quote but I like it. It’s just water running off a ducks back when things happen or when people act a certain way. It’s starting to get real, and for me to man up. Like my homeboy told me. “You stressing over nothing”. Or another one told me. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Last week, I decided Friday afternoon that I didn’t want to work in the bridal store anymore. I loved hanging out on the weekends and spending quality time with family and friends. Better yet, I LOVE to sleep. I wrote my letter and Saturday I placed the not on the managers desk when I got to work. My manager reads the not and says to me “It’s only one day out of the week”! Really? I thought. Then she had the nerve to tell everyone that I was quitting. And of course she had an attitude. I don’t do attitudes because I know that I can have one myself. So, I kept my distance and rocked it out. I cleaned up and left for good! How happy I was.
So now I’m dealing with this, I have been learning how to keep my feelings in check. Believe me it’s been hard. But, I just have to continue to just press on and do what I have to do in order to keep moving on. I pick my own battles, I choose to react a certain way. But BOY I tell you, it’s just been one of them days!
So, I went out Sunday afternoon with a guy. Was it a date? To some people yes. To me, I call it two strangers getting aquainted with one another. We were oringanally supposed to go to Starbucks but, we were hungry so we went to eat. Needless to say it went well, really well. Afterwards we went to the park walked around and just chilled. We talked (well I talked more) but I got home around 8:00. When I got home my mom decided to go for the kill and ask all these questions, and I only gave her a few answers. And the big question she asked if we kissed and all of the mushy stuff that she likes to do. And the anwer was no. She didn’t believe me. I don’t understand why she would think I would go out on a date with a guy who I don’t know and kiss him. To me that’s disrespectful. Why can’t we just go out and have good time. We did hug twice before we deaparted and went our separate ways for the night.
I think he’s a cool guy because we can talk for hours.
This whole thing about guys and girls can’t friends with out kissing and touching or the guy friend being gay is a myth. I don’t know where this myth started but it’s a bad rumor. I think the media and society puts it in people’s head that it’s impossible for guys and girls to be friends with out having sex or being romantically involved. I do have a confession I was checking him out on the cool to see what he looked like and how he was dressed. He dresses nice, he smelt delicious. That was a plus for me. He was cute, avaerage height Afican American male, good head on his shoulders, has a job own place. 31 years old, and so far so good. We enjoyed each other’s company. We hung out for a good 5 hours. I liked the fact that he didn’t try anything, or brag. He didn’t talk about sex that is a big NO NO to me. It was just plain old fun.
I think that you can be friends with a guy with out all that complecated stuff in between. I feel like that messes things up and you really don’t want to get to know that person. It sucks say the least. It’s awkward because you know for a fact that the guy sees you in a different light. I don’t want that to happen to me. I don’t want a man to think that about me. I know I’m not the type of young lady to do that. If you are friends with tha person then you won’t have any romantic feelings for that person. If you two decide that you would want to go through with it then that is up to you.
I haven’t thought that far, about being in a relationship, I don’t think I’m ready for one yet. There’s so much that goes into them. But who knows, I just go with the flow!
I think that people get caught up in wrong things. Now, I may get lots of feed back with this blog but I’m just writing what comes from the heart. When I write I am not looking for how many people are going to like it. I write because that’s what I love to do. Don’t get me wrong I would love for people to read it and be touched by what I write.
I would like to briefly touch on “Obama Care”. Now, I’m bias when it comes to politics. Let’s be real here politics is nothing but a game. Now, I’m starting to come to the conclusion that the people here in America aren’t pleased at all; we are so backwards. If the President (who ever he may be at the time) does something for the good for us we are unpleased. If something goes wrong we’re quick to trash, impeach, and put the blame game on him. We all know when you first learn how to ride a bike you fall a couple of times, you might scrap your knee what ever the case may be. You keep praticing you turn out to do pretty well for yourself. That’s like this new insurance. Why complain all the time. This is something that takes time for it to come along. Now, President Obama is trying his best, get over it! I would sign up for it if I didn’t have insurance.
If you think that black community needs more help then why don’t you try to volunteer and make a difference? Sitting there complaning won’t get you anywhere. I am too guilty of this so, I will make sure that I will volunteer.
Another thing, it makes no sense that we help people over seas. When it comes to our own we act as if we don’t have a clue. We are helping people around the world but we couldn’t help the hurricane surviors Katrina or any of that matter. It just breaks my heart that I see Americans adopting children from over seas and we can’t do it here. There are so many children in America that are living in foster care it is ridiculous. Let’s try to give back to our own before we give back over seas.
For the life of me men, let’s stop playing games and get out your feelings. I am so tired of men talking about they want a “wife and children”. You want honesty, respect and an independent woman and then you need to be all thoes things. You need to learn how to cook because guess what, there are lots of women out there who don’t like too cook. I love to cook but that doesn’t mean I’ll do it for you! It’s a turn off when you ask a woman if she cooks. That’s like us asking if you’re “blessed” down there. Don’t do it! I’m not the one to be leaned on the wash your clothes and do all these other duties if we’re not married. Marriage is not to be taken lightly it’s a commitment. If can’t take the time out to call and say hello then you failed already. You like a girl then you like her don’t string her along. Don’t lie to her. Don’t say you miss person then be real with her. Honesty is key. Don’t start liking someone when you get ignored.
And ladies let us stop falling for this. I don’t think its right to put all our energy into something that we know deep in out hearts that it’s not right. We know it’s not going to work. Let’s just learn how to please ourselves then these guys. They are not worth it at all. There’s nothing wrong with being single and having peace. I rather stay single and have peace then being with someone who drives me crazy.
That’s all I have for now, let’s contiue to uplift each other and do right!
As I look around me, I find myself feeling empty. There’s something missing. My world around me is mediocre. It could be so much better. The fact those 3 years have gone by since I graduated, I have yet to reach a goal, and my motivation is gone. GOD blessed me with a wonderful job, which I prayed and wished for. You know what, on the cool; the only thing I like is the pay. But in the back of my mind I think, am I missing something? I’m taking this opprotunity and I am going to do right and do my job. I am going to ride it until I can’t ride it anymore.
I been focused on the wrong things latley and I choose not to get into that. One, I hate to admit it. Two, I’m too vounarble about that subject. I would feel like an idiot writing it out. And that focus needs to be the last thing on my mind, seriously.
What I need to think about is my future.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in this box. The world is out there waiting for me and I’m stuck in the box I call Houston, TX. The box, it’s a small box, which I want to break free from. I want to break out that box, and open my eyes up to many opprotunities. Is that wrong? Is it wrong that I want to leave and never look back? Is it wrong that I want to emabrace my life and catch the boat of opprotunity? I don’t want that boat to sail on without me.
I know I write about this all the time. But I didn’t know that I loved writing so much that I am willing to drop everything just to do that. Well, didn’t Abraham take his things and leave? Going into a land that he didn’t know, that GOD told him to go? I did it before I feel as if I should do it again. I am at the age where now it’s time for me to explore and break away. This is for my own good. I’m not in a realtionship, no children.
I ran across a book and call me crazy but I was thrown off because it had my first name and middle Initial. That’s not the first time I came across it before. Right then I knew another sign that I needed to persue my dream. I knew that when I began to take my writing seriously. I’m not going to put education on the back burner, that’s a big no. Well, I have to do is just do it. it’s on me to make that move.