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It’s all in the face! Day 19 and 20

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If anyone knows me they know that I show my emotions with my face. These last two days were just as challenging as it was the first day. I know that I had to really take a load off and just think on these two days. I know that in one of my earlier post I wrote about how I express myself to a co-worker, sadly I had to do it again. I had to let them know!

Now, there’s a difference between cursing people out and just telling it like it is. Once again, that little voice was telling me “Keep calm, just be firm and please don’t act a fool”!  So, to make this long story short, this particular person was in my bubble and I politely asked her to step out of me bubble and she got upset. She had a nasty attitude and I felt blood boil. My face grew hot and I told her how she was not my boss nor did she write my checks.

Do you see Mrs. Leakes is making? That’s what I looked like when she started to run her mouth as if she was my boss.  Luckily,  someone saw the way this person was treating me and told her supervisor. When I was approached about it I told her everything.

This is a new year for Charmaine Raquel Hudson. I REFUSE to let someone talk or treat me as if I am less than! Just because people may think the job I have isn’t like theirs and I don’t have “Dr.” in front of my name doesn’t mean you’re better than me.

In my eyes you should be blessed that you have that title.  (this person was a medical student in her fourth year) I respect you so please respect me and we’ll be fine! Do I regret what I said?  -No-. Did I apologize? -No, because she didn’t apologize for the way she treated me-.  Do I care if she did? -No-.

I figured the reason why she acted that way towards me because she was having a bad day. You never know what someone is going through. When I saw her the next day,  I said Hello and moved on. That’s all I can do. I will not allow people to stress me out or ruin my day. I’m too cute for that!

Positive note:  Never let anyone disrespect you. If they do… proceed with caution!

 

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Day 16-18 Is MLK day just another day?

I was beyond happy that I had this long weekend off. I hooked up with a couple of girlfriends and went to go see Ride Along 2. It was a good movie! It was funny! I have a crush on Ice Cube so it was good seeing him on the big screen.   This weekend was not just another long weekend it was to observe the great Martin Luther King Jr.  

Monday morning, I was very surprised to see that there were no movies dedicated to him. I didn’t see anything on the History channels about his great works.  Did we really forget why we had this day off? This is no ordinary day. All I seen was trash reality shows coming on all day. Did I partake and go into a binge watch ? … I plead the fifth on that!  Okay, okay, I did and those shows are far from reality!  It was like watching horrible comedy sketches back to back! After Love and Hip Hop I was too through!  

Would  Martin Luther King be distraught to know that we have these shows? Would he be upset to see our people making a fool out of themselves?  Would he be heartbroken to see our sisters stoop down so low to be with a man who doesn’t value them? Would he mad at our brothers for playing women and sleeping around having babies by multiple women and not caring?  

My answer I think would be yes. Is MLK just a day for us? Or is it a day that we need to observe and be thankful for a man like him? He’s done so much for our people and others around us. 

 

Positive note:  Remember who paved the way for us!

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Day 14 and 15.. When your best doesn’t feel good enough

 

These two days I was pretty much in a slight funk because I was ready for the weekend to come and I was trying my best to help train a new person that was working with me. All the while,  I was trying to do everything else.     

Sometimes,  I get the feeling that the things I do gets unnoticed. I work really hard to please the people at my job that includes doctors, residents, and most of all patients. God forbid something happens because when a patient is unhappy, then everyone is going to be unhappy with you.  

My job is to make sure that I put the patients first no matter what. I had talked to a patient that was clearly upset about something that he needed to discuss with his doctor and he cursed and screamed at me over the phone.  I had to really get myself together and calm down. I apologized to the man and tried my best to help him and  made sure the doctor got his message.  

It was like a domino effect after that. It seemed like everyone was not pleased. Eventually, I turned the phones off and just needed peace. I needed to clear my mind and get myself together.  All these negative things started to come to mind. How much I didn’t like my job.  Why do people always rely on me to do this and do that? 

If they depend on me so much why does it feel like even why I do these things it seems unnoticed?  The next day all I got was. “Thanks for handling the situation professionally Charmaine”!   I swear all they needed to do was give me the wink and the gun. I thought to myself “Seriously, thank you”? How about you get that man to apologize to me. Or better yet fire that patient!    

I racked my brain and I came up with this. Even though I know my “good deeds” my be unnoticed to them, I know that in my heart that I did a good job. God knows my heart so that all that matters.  

 

Positive note 14 and 15… You don’t need anyone’s approval of your good deeds!  

 

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Day 13 & 14

These two days were very busy and sort of hard. I was praying for Friday to come so I could start the long weekend ahead.  I’m a fairly patient person and I don’t mind helping people out but it seemed as if everyone was pulling me left and right. I was tired by the end of the day that I didn’t feel like doing anything.

Sometimes I get irritated because so many people are in my face at work and then there’s the patients. I feel like ‘m about to explode and I just get up and walk away.  i go talk to my co-workers and when people are tired waiting for me they leave. When I see them leave that’s when I walk back to my desk and continue to do my work.

I know it may seem bad, but for all the work I do and the checks don’t match up, believe me you would do the same thing.  When I think about it, I think most of us can vouch that we actually do more than what our job description is. It would be nice that we could get paid extra for going above and beyond. I would love to do that.

I had to sit back and think for a moment. I know in one of my post I said be grateful about the job you have.  I realized, that there’s nothing wrong with looking for something that will further your career.    I think everyone deserves an increase in your income and life.

It’s all about how you go about doing it and how bad you want it.

Positive note 13 and 14:

Increase Increase Increase!

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Day 12 It’s so hard to so say goodbye!

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Two good things happen on this day!  The first one was that I just started a new class at my church that I think that will really help me and shape my adulthood.  The second good thing wasn’t really good but bitter sweet. Our president did his final State of the Union Address Speech.

 It was only eight years ago that I remember casting my voice for the second time and thinking that finally, my vote mattered. I was sopho-junior in college and I was so excited about having a African american president.  Although, I hate to see this first family leave unfortunately , we’re  going to have to move on slowly. It’s time to take into consideration about who’s going to lead this country next year. Oh how I wish there could be a third term for President Obama! 

His speech and my class goes hand in hand. Tuesday was my first spiritual class that I’ve committed and participated in since conformon class. I’ve always wanted to know my purpose in this world. I wanted to know as I go through this journey I call life, what is it that I was born to do?  I always thought it was writing because that’s what  I love to do. But, what else?  So, this class is really going to help me. 

I think what Iv;e been learning is while I love being comfortable it is time that I step outside the box and explore who I really am. People say that as you get closer to thirty that you begin to know what your purpose in life is. I’ still figuring that out! It may nor happen when I turn thirty, maybe it’ll happen before then or when I’m 31. Who knows? 

Positive note 12:  Out with the old in with the new!

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Day 8 & 9

This past weekend went by too fast! Luckily, I have a long one next week due to our beloved Martin Luther King Jr. It’s good to have a extra day off just to get your mind together for a long hard week at work.

 Well, yesterday I went to my first Birkram yoga class .. I swear I was going to pass out!    It was ninety minutes and after sixty I was done! But I had to push myself  to finish the class. I laid there for fifteen minutes looking at the door, wondering if I should step out and take break. I was going to “pretend” that I had to use the restroom.  When I think about it, it was actually comical.  I decided to just stay and just sweat and when I had the energy I kept going.  I literally crawled out the class when it was over.  

I sat through a hilarious football game the Texans played. I had no words. I am not a Texans fan at all. I sort of felt bad for them! Today, was no different I did not go to church but I will be there on Tuesday and Saturday.  This weekend I took the time out to reflect and just enjoy life. 

As  I get closer to thirty, I have no choice but to continue to live my life for me and no one else.  Why should I worry so much?  There’s no need for that! I am who I am and that Charmaine. I will continue to be me no matter what!

Positive note 7 and 8:  Be myself no matter what, know what you like and what you do not like.  Enjoy being you!